The game is set

Last night at 3AM I woke up and felt the need to write this. It was a really strange feeling. I went out of the AirBnB where me and my family were spending the night, took a pen and my notebook and wrote this in one piece. Is this something that might me close to poetry in prose? I don’t know. But when I went back to bed I felt good and immediately felt asleep. It was a funny experience and I wanted to keep a track of it.

The game is set, the pieces are aligned, forever staring at the other side. Immobile, they wait for a human touch to lead their steps in a mystical dance.

Players shake hands and the world is suspended, for when their skin touch a contract is signed. They forfeit names and roles for a superior cause. And for the next hours, Black and White will oppose.

Beginners and masters play by the same rules. One move and another compose a mutual groove. Time passes and when the game unfolds, a masterpiece has been written in stones.

Make a step and you never come back. The pawns are launched, looking forward in an ultimate quest to one day become Queens, or open direct lines to the enemy King.

A contract ties two minds for the time of a game. In the space of a board a comedy is played. Who knows how long it takes to design a winner, when plans are confronted with only Truth to judge.

Signs showing that I was depressed

A list of things that showed that I was in a state of depression or mental breakdown in early 2018. If something similar occurs in the future, I hope I will be conscious enough to notice it.

  • Impossible to focus on tasks
  • Addictions to my smartphone
  • Addiction to Youtube
  • Addiction to online blitz chess. I was playing for hours without even enjoying it.
  • Hard to learn new things. I stayed in Sweden for a year without learning any Swedish.
  • Didn’t enjoy eating. I was either eating pizzas, sushis, or cooking very basic meals, mostly pasta and frozen things.
  • Had no faith in what I was doing
  • Thought that everybody was judging what I was doing. I was adjusting my behaviour accordingly instead of thinking about what I wanted to do for myself.
  • I wasn’t paying attention to my body. I was literally injured (right arm not folding and hurting) and it took me very long to go to a professional and fix it.
  • I wasn’t cleaning the apartment or taking the trash out.
  • I couldn’t write anything authentic or positive article.
  • I would work on something on my own for a few days and switching to something else, without focus.
  • I would try and find excuses about why I wasn’t efficient (like “the noise stops me from sleeping”)
  • Dandruff (scratching my he head a lot)